Muffins
by NightingaleRose
Summary: Warning: crack one-shots of crossovers that should never, ever happen. You have been warned, enjoy and feel free to suggest crossovers that you'd like to see n.n;;
1. Kitchen insanity

Okay... so this is what happens when you get myself and one of my friends in the same room. Crack fics happen. I'm sorry .' Okay no not really.

**Disclaimer**: _Dont own YGO or Invader Zim._

**A/N**: _I'll be surprised if anyone actually reads these. Yes, there will be more. This is the start of the various crack one-shots we think of that really dont belong anywhere lol Enjoy our insanity?_

**XXXX**

"What the hell is there to drink in this dump?" A certain white haired thief king grumbled as he dug through the fridge for something, anything alcoholic.

Sighs. "Stupid mortals can't even keep a decent beer in here." He grabbed a bottle of water. "Guess this is better than nothing."

He slammed the door shut and cracked open the water and took a few sips as he stood there. "Tch. I hate this place. "

"Where are my SNACKS? SOMEONE HID MY SNACKS!"

Bakura arched an eyebrow as he watched an insane little green alien rush into the kitchen and start to tear apart the cupboards.

"GIR! Where is my sugary goodness!"

Bakura watched as a green dog thing came barreling in after. He didn't know what to make of the little thing. Did one of the monsters escape from the shadow realm again? It sure didn't look like any card he knew. Where the hell did they come from?

The little Alien finally noticed him and glared down at him from where thin metal legs were holding him up.

"YOU MONKEY MAN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SNACKS! I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME NOW!"

Bakura looked up at him as he sipped his water. He had a lazy smile on his face, showing a hint of fang. He knew an insult when he heard one. Looks like this creature needed a lesson on how to treat his betters.

"WHERE ARE MY SNACKS? I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ZIM NOW! OR FACE MY WRATH!

Bakura rolled his eyes as he sipped his water. "You and what army Shorty? I could castrate you and flay your skin off for my own amusement if I felt like it."

"My army! GIR! ATTACK THE MONKEY HE WILL NOT ANSWER ME! And if I choose to, I will put a squid brain in your head!

He laughed; either this kid had guts or was an imbecile. He straightened up, standing at his full height, as he looked up at the little green creature suspended on several spiny metal legs. "Oh? Squid brain? For that I might just have to show you pain like you've never experienced before you pathetic green creature. " Without warning he jerked his hand forward, sending water into the irken's eyes

Zim shrieked from the water and starts to flail his arms about, wiping his hands over his face in an attempt to get the water off as he ran around in circles on his pak legs. "GIR! GIIIR! ASSIST ME! "

The weird green dog threw a can of peas out of the cupboard. "I like peas!"

Snort. Bakura stepped forward and grabbed the flailing Alien by the collar of his shirt and kicked the spindly legs out from under him. He dumped the rest of the water over Zim's head and tossed the bottle away before pulling out a dagger and clipping off the pak's legs. "Now, its time I showed you what a real threat means you little nuisance. Since you mentioned replacing my brain with a squids, I think exploratory surgery is a marvelous idea. Lets see if you bleed red or green."

**XXXX**

"That green dog thing does make good muffins." Bakura finished off the bran muffin he was eating.

Zim peeked his head into the kitchen and spotted the white-haired Thief King at the counter and shrieked before racing off, arms flailing and shouting about the evils of evil spirits.

Bakura smirked as he relaxed. Another soul tortured. His work here was done.


	2. Muffin Madness

_More one-shot crack_

_Disclaimer: Dont own Gundam Wing or Naruto_

**XXXX**

He glared at the package in his hands. "The stupid type is to small." He squinted his eyes as he held the package in front of his face. "Two eggs…. 1 and a half cups of milk…"

Sighing he finished reading the box and went digging into the fridge for ingredients. He didn't know what possessed him to make blueberry muffins all of a sudden, but here he was in the kitchen. Vaguely he noted that the kitchen looked like there had been a struggle not to long ago.

He poured all the ingredients together and started to stir just as someone entered the room. A teenager with long chestnut colored hair tied back in an exceptionally long braid came bounding over.

"Hey man, whatcha making? "

Itachi frowned as he glanced to the side at the teen next to him. He could barely make out the color of the guys eyes, let alone his face.

"Hn. Go away."

"Oh! Someone that speaks Heero speech. Now lets see, that could be translated as 'I don't want to tell you what I'm doing because it should be obvious' or as 'making muffins, would you like to be covered in batter for me to lick off of you?'

Itachi blinked and looked a little confused. How the hell did he get that out of 'Hn'?

The person beside him snickers. "That look clearly says 'I'm cute and confused, cover my lips in batter and kiss me."

Itachi frowned. "Hn…." Now lets see what he gets out of that.

"Hm… definitely a 'was that in invitation to the bedroom or shall we get going here."

A small tick was slowly starting to develop above Itachi's left eye. Why the hell was this person making all these innuendos out of his infamous Uchiha answers? "Excuse me, but why the hell are you here?"

"Why not? It beats being bored."

There was silence for a moment before Itachi shot him a glare. "Go Away."

He could barely make out the grin on the other's face. "Aww, am I upsetting the muffin man?"

Suddenly Itachi could see better, he knew his eyes were red now. He glared fully at the boy in front of him. "Go away or I will make you."

The boy smiled charmingly, his violet eyes sparkling as he held his hands up, trying to look innocent and harmless. "I'm just trying to have a conversation, no need to get up set." He backed up and turned, heading out the door.

Itachi breathed a sigh of relief as he released his sharingan. Now he had a slight headache on top of being annoyed and partially blind. Today wasn't his day.

**XXXX**

He wiped his hands on the pink apron he had on after he closed the oven door. Now he just had to wait for the delicious blueberry goodness to be done.

_Click._

He froze. He slowly turned around, his sharingan blazing. His red eyes clashed with violet as the guy in the door way stood there grinning with a camera in hand. "I know a few people that will pay top dollar for this."

Itachi growled as he lunged for the boy. "Give me that camera!"

The guy laughed and darted off. "Gotta catch little ole me first! Duo Maxwell's the name, and running and hiding's the game!"

Itachi tore off the apron and chased after him, throwing kunai and shuriken after the braided menace.

**XXXX**

"Ouch! Okay Okay! You can have it! Geesh!" Duo winced as he coddled his singed braid. Several close calls and a few kanton jutsu's later found him backed into a corner with a very pissed off Uchiha prodigy advancing on him. "Though you might wanna check your muffins."

Itachi froze as the scent of something burning reached him. He sped off towards the kitchen.

Duo sat there a few moments nursing his braid as a wail filled the house. "Saved by the Muffins. "


End file.
